Happy New Year!

Well, i have not written on here for some time now! last time was when i started my old new job, if that makes sense?! alot has happened since, i have yet got another new job, selling safari holidays, which i love. Its in bromley, (julio must meet up very soon for that drink!) and its great. lovely hours mon to fri 9-5.30 (every other job has been shift hours which i really didnt enjoy)

Life is good,me and lee are still together and very well, hoping to get own house very soon, see mortgage advisior end of jan, so fingers crossed.

Im going to make sure this year, tries to go the way i want it to. Theres alot of things i want to change in my life, so thats my new years promise to myself. For one i keep getting bad panic attacks, like when i get on the train etc, its all because i feel sick and then think im going to be sick (it sounds soooooo stupid i know, but if you get them you will understand) they have got really bad, like i have to fall alseep with the tv on to take me mind off feeling rough,i wont eat all the things i used to eat incase they make me sick. Ive been doctors and like he said its all in the mind, i know thatbut it is so hard to accept thats all it is. He was going to give me meidcaiton but they make you drowszy and now that i drive to work isnt good. We agreed i would try and sort it out myself but its hard.

Theres so many things i want to change in my head and this year is going to be my year. I worry. Thats my problem, over the most silly things, but ive got to change that, i just to change stop caring so much what people think of me and how i want my life to go.

I keep telling my self you only get one shot of life, it isnt a rehersal, but do you know how hard that is? its all so easy to say, but to put into play in your own life is another issue.

My problem, i can give good advise but cant take my own.